good taste in music begins early

mix from emily

To Virge Love Emily created Summer 1993

Em. One of the friends I lost in college when I cut off some unhealthy ties I had with a group from home. She wasn't an unhealthy connection but when I removed myself from those friends I did it without caution and lost some really beautiful people. This mix makes me miss her.

Side A "Go Girl!"

• These Are Days 10,000 Maniacs (The only date on this is "summer 1993" so I'm not sure if this was made before Dyllis, Melissa, Emily & I went to the 10,000 Maniacs concert. Wow. This is making me really nostalgic.)
• Left of Center Suzanne Vega
• Everybody Knows Concrete Blonde
• Goodbye Sundays
• Deadbeat Club B-52's
• Baby I Can Hold You Tracy Chapman
• For Love Lush
• Trouble Me 10,000 Maniacs
• Feed the Tree Belly
• Love Will Come to You Indigo Girls (I'm crying now. I think I know why she made this mix for me. I had some amazing friends and they helped me through some horribly dark times. I only hope I was half as good a friend to them as they were to me and that sometimes they think of me in good terms. Probably not.)
• Circle Edie Brickell & the New Bohemians
• Love Sundays

B "12 un-icky boys" side

• Fure Blast (Emily was very creative and I love this cover. At this point she switched to writing the artist 1st and the song 2nd.)
• De La Soul Bitties in the B.K. Lounge (I have to find this song. I only have a vague recollection of it, but it's making me smile.)
• Soul Asylum Runaway Train
• Replacements Nobody
• Soup Dragons Forever Yesterday
• Morrissey Everyday is Like Sunday
• Santo & Johnny Sleepwalk
• Lemonheads Confetti
• Sting Shape of My Heart
• Midnight Oil Drums of Heaven
• REM Find the River
• Violent Femmes Good Feeling

Getting a little too sad here so I'll stop.

my mix tapes 3

The You Are Alive Mix created on April 18, 1993

I assume there were other tapes I made between August `92 and April `93 but I didn't have any in the box. I'm not certain what this title refers to but this might have been around the time I went into therapy. Now that I'm thinking about the date I think I'd been in therapy for a few months at this point. The more I think about the memories wrapped up with these songs the more I'm remembering. I'd guess the title referred to somebody else (I think I know who it was but that's their's to share, not mine).

Side A

• Mercedes Benz Janis Joplin
• Ode to Billy Joe Bobbie Gentry
• Casey Jones Grateful Dead
• Brown Eyed Girl Van Morrison
• Piece of My Heart Janis Joplin
• Walking in London Concrete Blonde
• Two Princes Spin Doctors
• Uncle John's Band Grateful Dead
• Me and Bobby McGee Janis Joplin
• Love Sundays
• Thank You Tori Amos

Side B

• Indian Princess Thoughts of Brahma (This was my friend Terri's boyfriend's band. I think this song was about her. They're one of my favorite couples and have one of those "against the odds" love stories complete with the happy ending.)
• Look What the Cat Drug In Michael Penn
• Happy Phantom Tori Amos
• Trust in Me Janis Joplin
• Love Will Come Indigo Girls
• Wild Horses Sundays
• Stolen Thoughts of Brahma
• I Want to be Your Friend Again Concrete Blonde (I think this song was a reference to the "intervention" some childhood friends had for me. They told me they didn't like the things I was doing at the time and that they couldn't be my friends anymore if I kept doing them. Bless their good intentioned hearts but the end result was we stopped being friends for awhile and I spent more time with the people they didn't approve of.)
• Ghost Indigo Girls
• Sounds of Silence Simon & Garfunkel
• Joking Indigo Girls
• Scarborough Fair/Canticle Simon & Garfunkel

my mix tapes 3

Songs to Sigh, Cry, and Die To created on August 18, 1992
(Does this title really need an explanation other than that I was a teenager?)

Side A

• Something Beatles
• I'll Be There Escape Club (Ummm, how embarassing)
• Tears in Heaven Eric Clapton
• I Don't Have the Heart James Ingram
• Michelle Beatles (Yeah!!! This song is one of my all time favorites & was playing when my sons were born!)
• Agony of Pleasure Robyn Hitchcock
• I Can't Make You Love Me Bonnie Raitt
• You've Lost That Loving Feeling Righteous Brothers
• Blackbird Beatles
• Me and a Gun Tori Amos
• 7 O'Clock News/Silent Night Simon & Garfunkel
• In My Life Beatles
• Black Boys on Mopeds Sinead O'Conner
• Leaving on a Jet Plane Peter, Paul & Mary

Side B

• Leaving on a Jet Plane (cont.)
• Time in a Bottle Jim Croce
• Little Earthquakes Tori Amos
• I Don't Know How to Love Him Helen Reddy
• A Little Fall of Rain Les Miserables
• Silent All These Years Tori Amos
• Asian Rut Morrissey
• Scene of a Perfect Crime Concrete Blonde
• If You Go Away Robyn Hitchcock
• Puff the Magic Dragon Peter, Paul & Mary
• Lie Still Little Bottle They Might be Giants
• Wendy Concrete Blonde
• A Heart Full of Love Les Miserables

Wow. Once again, many of these songs are still in my all time favorites list, but I have to say the title to this tape certainly fit.

my mix tapes 2

Happy Peppy People Mix created on October 26, 1991
(I think this title referred to something my friend Elena and I used to say to mock people who weren't depressed like we were.)

Side A

• Yesterday Beatles
• Swan Lake Madness
• Bloodletting Concrete Blonde
• Fury Eyes Creatures (I have NO memory of this song or group. I'll have to look into this one.)
• Little Gods Voice of the Beehive
• So You Think You're in Love Robyn Hitchcock
• Our House Madness
• Kiss Them for Me Siouxsie & the Banshees
• Little Boxes Pete Seeger
• Freedom Song The La's

Side B

• Freedom Song (cont.) apparently I didn't want to fool with making the songs fit nicely
• Everybody Knows Concrete Blonde
• Here, There and Everywhere Beatles
• Here Comes a Regular Replacements
• Good Feeling Violent Femmes
• Close to Me Cure
• Monsters and Angels Voice of the Beehive
• To the One I Love REM
• There She Goes The La's

my mix tapes 1

A few weeks back I wrote about going through a box of old mix tapes. These are some thoughts on a few more tapes. These were all created by me.

I thought it was very clever to give my mixes "deep" names (although looking at some covers of ones other people made for me, I don't think I'm the only one who tried to come up with deep titles). I also liked to date the mixes so I'll try to do these in somewhat chronological order.

Happy Face Sticker Ring People created on October 26, 1991
(The title references an obsession I had at the time with happy face stickers and rings from the dentist's office. Around that same time I made a pair of earrings out of the faces from plastic happy face rings. Like I said, I thought I was deep.)

Side A

• There's No Other Way Blur
• JD's Death from Heathers I think this was actually the audio from the movie
• To the Shock of Miss Louise Thomas Newman
• Deeper Shade of Soul Urban Dance Squad
• Forever Young Alphaville
• She's Leaving Home Beatles
• Perfect Place Voice of the Beehive
• Where Have all the Flowers Gone? Kingston Trio

Side B

• Vegetation and Dimes Robyn Hitchcock
• Into the Mystic Van Morrison
• It's the End of the World REM
• Don't Stand So Close to Me Police
• Blister in the Sun Violent Femmes
• She Doesn't Exist Robyn Hitchock
• King of Pain Police
• Mummy's Boy Madness

I'm actually surprised how many of thse songs are still among my favorites.

how life changes

Just having one of those moments where I'm awed by how life changes.

Yesterday I was at my college roommate's house for our weekly playdate and that's just weird. When I met Tammy almost 13 years ago I never would've guessed I would marry one of her high school friends. When I went home with her for the first time and we drove through the town I live in now I would've balked if you told me I would call this home.

She & I used to spend hours talking about our friends from home, our friends at Tech and a million other mindless gossipy things. Now we spend hours watching our little ones play together and talking about baby food, baby "tricks" and decorating our new homes.

It awes me to think what little concept we have of our futures (Of course, I know my future involves Tammy & I laughing and reminiscing the night before our children marry each other. I just don't know which of my sons her daughter will choose...)

celine and elvis on american idol

Celine Dion performing a duet with an Elvis hologram.

Creepy.

on a lighter note

An old post of my sister's has inspired me to come out as a closet MTV watcher. I can spend hours watching stupid low-class MTV marathons.

Now that I have this admission out of the way, I must ask, "Aren't the parents of the boyfriends & girlfriends on Parental Control mortified?" What parent wants the world to know they raised a child who allows their boyfriend or girlfriend to curse at their parents? I'm amazed they sit there while their child's significant other insults & curses them. I'm surprised the parents aren't sitting on the couch crying that their child hates them enough to date someone who'd treat them this way. I'm amazed that the parents of the significant other don't show up halfway through the show and yank their child off the couch while giving a speech about "I don't care how old you are. I didn't raise you this way."

Then there are the parents of the self-absorbed brats on My Super Sweet Sixteen...

hokiesports.com slideshow

This slideshow is so moving I had to share.

It includes photos from vigils & support around the world. Click on the link and look about halfway down on the page. Under the heading "Send Us Your Photos" there's a link to "View the Photos."

Be ready to cry.

http://www.hokiesports.com/april16/

NASCAR to honor victims

NASCAR has received permission from Virginia Tech to display the school's logo on racecars for the next three weeks. The third week is the Richmond race so I'm sure emotions will be high that day.

Here's a link to the article: NASCAR to honor victims

we support vt online petition

I heard about the site below on the radio yesterday. It's an online petition for students, alumni, faculty, staff and friends of Virginia Tech to show their support for Virginia Tech President Charles Steger and Police Chief Wendell Flinchum.

As many of you know, I feel very strongly about the way the national media has portrayed Monday's tragic events and how they've worked hard to place the blame anywhere except on the shoulders of the individual who chose to ruin the lives of so many. If you share this sentiment I urge you to please sign this online petition and let others know about the site.

http://www.wesupportvt.com/

Hokie Hope - Orange & Maroon Effect Day - Friday April 20th

Virginia Tech family members across the country have united to declare this Friday, April 20th, an "Orange and Maroon Effect" day to honor those killed in the tragic events on campus Monday, and to show support for Virginia Tech students, faculty, administrators, staff, alumni, and friends.

"Orange and Maroon Effect" was born several years ago as an invitation to Tech fans to wear orange and maroon to Virginia Tech athletic events. We invite everyone from all over the country to be a part of the Virginia Tech family this Friday, to wear orange and maroon to support the families of those who were lost, and to support the school and community we all love so much.

we are virginia tech

We are Virginia Tech
We are sad today
And we will be sad for quite a while
We are not moving on
We are embracing our mourning

We are Virginia Tech
We are strong enough to stand tall tearlessly
We are brave enough to bend to cry
And we are sad enough to know that we must laugh again

We are Virginia Tech
We do not understand this tragedy
We know we did nothing to deserve it
But neither does a child in Africa dying of AIDS
Neither do the invisible children walking the night away to avoid being captured by the rogue army
Neither does the baby elephant watching his community being devastated for ivory
Neither does the Mexican child looking for fresh water
Neither does the Appalachian infant killed in the middle of the night in his crib in the home his father built with his own hands being run over by a boulder because the land was destabilized
No one deserves a tragedy

We are Virginia Tech
The Hokie Nation embraces our own and reaches out with open heart and hands to those who offer their hearts and minds
We are strong, and brave, and innocent, and unafraid
We are better than we think and not quite what we want to be
We are alive to the imaginations and the possibilities
We will continue to invent the future
Through our blood and tears
And through all our sadness

We are the Hokies
We will prevail
We will prevail
We will prevail
We are Virginia Tech

-Nikki Giovanni, poet, activist & Virginia Tech Distinguished Professor

I updated this poem on 4.19.07. In my excitement to share Nikki Giovanni's remarks I originally posted the text exactly as someone sent it to me on the 17th. After re-reading it I realized there were large sections missing. The text I now have posted is taken from the transcript provided on Tech's website. I cut & paste the transcript from the site and then put it back into a more traditional poetic format to indicate her phrasing.

some things to share

When I awoke this morning and the reality of Monday's tragedy came flooding back to me I allowed myself some more wallowing. Steven and I shared our latest thoughts as we fed the boys and I watched the news for about a 1/2 hour. I'm not watching an episode of VH1 Classic's "The Alternative" that I DVR'd over the weekend) as I work on the computer. I read some Tech related stuff but I also decided to deal with some normal stuff like ordering diapers.

Today I'm going to hold myself accountable to do normal stuff all day. Tammy and Murphy are coming over for a playdate (although I suspect our conversation will center heavily on Tech since we're both so passionate about Tech - Murphy's nursery is a Virginia Tech theme). I will clean & do laundry. I will laugh & play with the boys (o-kay, so I've been doing that one the past 2 days anyway). I will NOT spend the day watching news coverage or reading stuff on the Internet. The plan is for us to go to a local memoral service tonight (our actual attendance will depend on the boys cooperation) but other than that I will try to return to normalcy. I find myself slipping into the obsessively sad state I so easily get into and I can't allow that.

Before I disappear for the day I will post some things I want to share. After posting them I will close the laptop and begin the day.

WE are VIRGINIA TECH

If you haven't seen this yet, make sure you watch all the way through to the end.

hokies are a family united

Before you start reading this, I didn't write this, but I share the sentiment.

We are Hokies United, we are one Hokie nation, one family, one community untied by Ut Prosim—"That I May Serve."

The Virginia Tech community has recently been attacked and wounded by horror and affliction that none of us asked for. We were tormented last semester, teased with bomb threats and now deeply wounded by a sword of torment and misery.

Think of Virginia Tech as one body who just got attacked and we're lying in the hospital bed. We need to use all the energy of our body to heal our wounds. What does a person go through who has just been maliciously attacked? Shock, vexation, confusion, anger, sadness, grief, disbelief, denial, etc. We're trying to survive and make sense of what happed and gain clarity and perspective. Many questions are asked and some we will never have the answers to.

Some people are at our bedside asking us "shouldn't have Tech done this or that? Why didn't someone do their job?" I hope people are not intentionally trying to cause more distress but we need all white blood cells on the wound, we do not need to be wasting energy dealing with more confusion and second guessing.

We need love, healing, comfort, consolation, forgiveness, and service to each other.

The worst thing we can do as a Hokie Nation is to let the toxicity of the second-guessing and doubt to invade our own body and have our own community turn against itself. In a time like this where community members have confusion, vexation, and anger, it's easy to mistakenly want to place blame. We cannot blame the administration or ourselves; Virginia Tech did NOT ask for this tragedy nor bring it upon herself, it's not our fault. I believe our administration and police leadership did the best they could, but that is beside the point. Right now we need to band together and support EVERYONE in our Hokie Nation. Please encourage each other to serve one another and come together.

The spirit and love that is found deep within the wisdom of our motto Ut Prosim—"That I May Serve" cover over a multitude of the toxic inundations that could seep into our community.

Let's also reflect on the wisdom of our 8 Pylons which is what has made us who we are today: Brotherhood à Human relationships "love"
Dutyà Obligation/responsibility to each other
Honorà Respect for each other
Leadershipà Positive influence
Loyaltyà Faithful to Ut Prosim
Serviceà Helping others
Sacrificeà Offering of self, carrying each other's burdens of loss
Ut Prosimà "That I May Serve," and right now that means, each other.

Right now my Hokie family needs me to be supportive and serve them. I need to support Dr. Steger and the entire leadership and not let anything divide us against one another. Let's not be remembered as the massacre university, but the university who embodied her to her motto, Ut Prosim and came together as community. I hope and pray we can serve one another in patience, kindness, goodness, forgiveness, and gentleness in our time of great need and agony.

Please feel free to pass along this message to anyone it might help.

God Bless and Ut Prosim,
Drew Lichtenberger
Virginia Tech, B.S. 2000

just wait until these sick hateful people meet God and find out the truth

That stupid hateful "church" (the one that protests at soldiers' funerals) will be "preaching" at the funerals of those killed yesterday. I will NOT list their website here but I went to it and confirmed that on their site they've proclaimed they will "preach" at the funerals. These poor sick people think this was God's punishment. Their's is a lonely and depressing faith

how many more tears?

The boys & I had a playdate this morning which forced me to take a much needed break from the tv. I'm home now and back to depressing myself. My heart broke again as I watched the interviews with Liviu Librescu's son and Ryan Clark's twin brother.

I wish the national media outlets were covering this as well as our local NBC station, WSLS. Their coverage is focusing on the stories of those involved and the Hokie Spirit. Most of them are wearing some form of maroon or orange - even the staff in the background seem to be wearing it (except for one meterologist, didn't he know someone who could at least lend him a maroon tie?). Every once in awhile one of them mentions something personal, such as "this morning my husband left me a note saying it was very windy outside and it must be the wings of all those new Hokie angels." I complained very loudly when our satellite company took away our distant (NY & LA) stations. Right now I am so grateful for my locals.

meredith viera says something smart

"At times like this you feel like almost a pariah as a member of the press." - Meredith Viera 4.17.07

get off our campus!

I'm still working on processing this whole thing.

Conner woke up sometime between 4 & 5 this morning. I debated whether or not he would stop crying and decided he'd just continue until he woke Aaron so I got up and fixed his bottle. I sat down on the couch, turned on the tv and was jerked back to the world. The tears started all over again and as I flipped channels so did the anger.

Thankfully, our local stations are covering this and they have some decency. The national media coverage is horrible and hateful. Reporters I've always despised (Geraldo Rivera) and those I've liked (Matt Lauer, who last night looked like the Count from Sesame Street) are on our campus eagerly trying to pick at Tech's fresh wounds so they can have more gore to boost their ratings. As they interview people you can watch them twist the words around to get the angle they want. They stand in front of our buildings referring to "VPI" (only those over 50 still call it that), the "Quad" (repeatedly used incorrectly to reference the Drillfield) and "West Ambler Johnston" (West AJ). Last night's Dateline NBC talked about Hokie Pride and during the photo montage showed a picture of UVA fans (everyone was wearing blue & orange and had a big blue & orange wheel) instead of Tech fans.

I'm not sure why, but for some reason I was especially angry when, to "prove" his point that Tech messed up, Matt Lauer told the Dateline audience how he'd walked from AJ across the Drillfield to Norris in 5 minutes. I'm waiting to see the live footage showing that one. Every Hokie knows that even at your fastest walk at the shortest point that just wouldn't happen.

Instead of telling the actual story and focusing on the Hokie Spirit the national media's already decided what they want the story to be and they're happy to go about making that story up themselves.

Get your damn media vans and take your stupid leading questions off our campus.

media

Media people are idiots.

prayers for virginia tech

school shootings

The reporters are now emphasizing this as the "worst shooting disaster in US history." I figured they'd have to change it from the earlier assessment as the "worst school shooting disaster in the world" when I remembered there was that horrible school hostage tragedy in Russia a few years ago.

history

My sister just pointed out that Blacksburg just joined UT & A&M as a campus that will forever be touched by a tragic event. I remember that a few months ago I read an article in Texas Monthly about the tower shooting. I did full body sobbing as I read the personal accounts of that day. I can't believe something worse has occured at the place I love most in the world.

22

The official confirmed count is now up to 22. On TV they just said this is the worst (largest) school shooting ever. More than Columbine, Pennsylvania, Scotland.

tragedy

There's been a shooting on Tech's campus. I've been glued to the tv for the past 2 hours (as "glued" as a mommy of 2 ten month old boys can be). I feel such sorrow for the parents of Tech students right now, both those whose children have been injured or killed by the gunman (gunmen? as I write this they're still unsure if there was more than one shooter) and those who are worried about their children right now.

Oh my. At the press conference the Tech police chief just said that at least TWENTY people are dead (including the shooter) and 28 are injured. Now here's where I have to turn off the tv. They just showed some cell phone video footage where you can hear the shooting at Norris Hall.

Blacksburg. My favorite place on Earth. I don't want to believe it.

Mom My Ride

My "Mom Ride" may be a CRV rather than a minivan, but it's slowly becoming the car in this video.

"natural" moms

I don't have the energy to write a long post about this but I feel compelled to write something. A little bit ago there was a commercial for today's Dr. Phil. It involves the case of a birthmom named Allison Quets who apparently placed her twin babies and then kidnapped them from their adoptive parents. Of course, my heart started racing and I wanted to know more about this case so I did a quick Google search.

I don't want to get into the specifics of the case. If anyone's interested they can do their own search. I will say that, as always seems to be the case with any "adoption gone wrong" story in the media, this was not a good adoption and beyond the children being twins has NOTHING in common with our adoption.

My thoughts right now are not even about this case but about the sites I ended up on while looking for information. It pains me how many people out there hate me just because of how we became parents. Logically, I know there are people who will hate you for something no matter what you do in life. But it still hurts to think about someone not seeing the love in our family (OUR family includes birthmom) and the value in how God brought us together.

I wish these people could sit down with Steven, the boys, birthmom, and I. Heck, we could really throw them for a loop by bringing in the extended families from both our side and birthmom's side (there have never been 2 more spoiled or loved children then my sons). I KNOW there are bad adoptions out there. However, we have an amazing birthmom and I'm proud of our adoption triad.

I have no desire to invest the energy it takes to educate all the hateful, ignorant and hurt people out there. I'd much rather spend that energy surrounding my sons with love and being a good mommy. But sometimes I wish I had the energy to fix the world...

old mix tapes

O-kay. I should be cleaning. My parents arrive in a few hours and there is still so much to do but, as usual, I've become distracted and am now way off track.

During our recent move I unearthed all kinds of things in our attic and storage areas: the pile of wedding gifts we never could decide what to do with (regift? Goodwill? keep in our attic forever out of guilt?), boxes of teaching goodies from my classroom days, treasures from various trips and more.

Today's distraction relates to a shoebox of old mix tapes that made it's way from my parents' house to our attic several years ago. As we packed & unpacked I tried to weed through all my years of accumulated junk and this box was an obvious "toss." However, I knew I couldn't bring myself to throw them out without first examining them.

I made the mistake of trying to tackle this box today. I know I don't have long before one of the boys wakes from their nap so I won't have time to tell about all of them, but I have to start. Some of the tapes must be almost 20 years old, even the most recent ones had to be over 10 years old. I didn't listen to any of the tapes. I attempted to take pictures of the covers (which I saved - hoarding habits die hard) and then promptly carried the box of tape cases & tapes to the trash. Even if those tapes would play without disintegrating I don't want to hear them. Some of them would bring back a flood of memories that are better left alone & some would bring up old embarrassing insecurities I don't need.

There were several tapes my friend Kathy made for me in elementary school & junior high. Tapes with titles like "29 Days" (I presume that referred to an upcoming Disney World trip we were taking together) & "This is Me Talking." There are several unlabeled ones whose contents I'll never know. There's one called "The Christian Slater Album" whose cover includes some sort of label reading "Note: To start operations, lift tone arm from the rest and pull tone arm up to the right until a click is heard." I don't know whether that tape was made by Kathy or another friend, Melissa, but I love it's adolescent innuendo.

Ahhh... I was just about to start on the ones I made but I hear Aaron.

stop telemarketers & credit offers by mail

Most everyone I know has already done these but a recent article about mortgage application trigger lists made me think it might be time for a reminder.

Block telemarketing pitches by making sure your phone numbers are on the National Do Not Call Registry. This is effective for FIVE YEARS, so if you've noticed a recent spike in phone calls you might need to re-register:
https://www.donotcall.gov/
1.888.382.1222

Block credit bureaus from selling your personal information to lenders for marketing campaigns. There are 2 options on the site. One blocks them for FIVE YEARS, the other permanently blocks them (yeah!):
https://www.optoutprescreen.com
1.888.567.8688

Airborne Hokie Bird - Virginia Tech Army ROTC