today

Today... I deep cleaned the living room carpet (truthfully, this is one of my favorite things to do), I cleaned the fridge, and finally gave into today's tears as I caught up on Thomas Bickle through his mom's blog.

Shane - I love and miss you

The world has changed in less than 24 hours. Shortly after midnight last night Steven called home to let me know Shane had been stabbed and killed.

Writing those words is horrible.

Shane was so many things but most of all he was a good person. Those who knew Shane, and those who didn't, will say many things about him in the coming days. But what I know will be repeated over and over again was what a good heart he had. And mine hurts thinking about him being gone forever.

In the past 20 hours I've been trying to pull up as many memories as possible so I can solidify them in my mind and keep them safe. Some crazy random ones have come up and they all just remind me why everyone loved him.

I've tried several times now to write some of those memories, but I just can't seem to do it. Instead here are pics that remind me of some great Shane memories.

Concrete Blonde (You're the Only One) Can Make Me Cry

I'm in a Concrete Blonde mood tonight and have been pulling up all their old videos. Johnette Napolitano's voice is so beautiful and I have so many old memories wrapped up in the songs. Her live versions of Joey can drag me back to my 17 year old self and almost instantaneously make me cry over people I have long since stopped caring about.

Elvis Costello + Nick Lowe + Robyn Hitchcock

In my imaginary alternate life I would have seen this live.

life

"I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate. It is, above all to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all."

- Leo Rosten

where has the time gone...

Teach your daughter to be a prostitute dolls!

Growing up my mom was not a Barbie fan. The few dolls I had were my prize posessions. As I grew older I decided Barbie wasn't the best thing for all the "feminist" style reasons. Then about 9 years ago I saw my first Bratz doll and I decided Barbie looked like a nun. Steven calls them "Teach your daughter to be a stripper dolls."

*This is actually a very tame Bratz doll but check out the shoes!

This weekend I was floored to discover there are dolls worse than Bratz. I was on a Girls' Beach Weekend and we found this doll at a Ross store. In the little girls section we also came across a blue hoodie with "SEXY" written across the chest.

I am getting way too old.