going back to high school
I'm not one of those people who looks wistfully back at their high school years and wishes they could go back.
High school was high school.
There were great times and times when I had a lot of fun (especially my junior and senior years) but most of it was filled with all that stupid adolescent bullshit pain. Icky boyfriends, girl drama, home stress, low self-esteem (self loathing is actually a more accurate description), worrying about grades, etc. I truly believe that teenage hormones are so out of whack that there are no "higher highs" or "lower lows" than during those years. In my opinion, that's why First Loves are held in such regard. That deep obsessive infatuated love feels so all-consumingly high. You "love" each other so much you make little happiness graphs that show the time spent with one another and plan elaborate mix tapes filled with meaningful songs. Of course, that's until he cheats on you while you're looking at colleges and then that deep low pain gets etched in your brain also. The pain and pleasure of that time are so closely intertwined. I have no desire to ever go through either extreme again.
(However, college is another story. My husband and I were just last weekend discussing how we'd go back to our college years in a heartbeat. Best times ever in the most beautiful place on earth.)
All this has been a long winded (as usual) preface to me stating that I want to go back to my high school music. When I started writing this I was listening to The Cure's Close to Me. On the way home both Concrete Blonde and the Pixies played on Lucy. I love my Ben Harper, Damien Rice, Patty Griffin, Ray LaMontagne, etc. However, none of them bring about quite the same emotion as Wish You Were Here, Black, Blister in the Sun, Circle, I Shall Believe, Me and a Gun, Joey, Fee, Sugar Magnolia or any of my other favorites from those years. (Trust me, I could go on forever listing songs, that's why I love Fred and Lucy so much!) The same insane emotions that keep me from wanting to go back to high school have made the music I loved during those years the unattainable gold standard against which I judge all other music.
High school was high school.
There were great times and times when I had a lot of fun (especially my junior and senior years) but most of it was filled with all that stupid adolescent bullshit pain. Icky boyfriends, girl drama, home stress, low self-esteem (self loathing is actually a more accurate description), worrying about grades, etc. I truly believe that teenage hormones are so out of whack that there are no "higher highs" or "lower lows" than during those years. In my opinion, that's why First Loves are held in such regard. That deep obsessive infatuated love feels so all-consumingly high. You "love" each other so much you make little happiness graphs that show the time spent with one another and plan elaborate mix tapes filled with meaningful songs. Of course, that's until he cheats on you while you're looking at colleges and then that deep low pain gets etched in your brain also. The pain and pleasure of that time are so closely intertwined. I have no desire to ever go through either extreme again.
(However, college is another story. My husband and I were just last weekend discussing how we'd go back to our college years in a heartbeat. Best times ever in the most beautiful place on earth.)
All this has been a long winded (as usual) preface to me stating that I want to go back to my high school music. When I started writing this I was listening to The Cure's Close to Me. On the way home both Concrete Blonde and the Pixies played on Lucy. I love my Ben Harper, Damien Rice, Patty Griffin, Ray LaMontagne, etc. However, none of them bring about quite the same emotion as Wish You Were Here, Black, Blister in the Sun, Circle, I Shall Believe, Me and a Gun, Joey, Fee, Sugar Magnolia or any of my other favorites from those years. (Trust me, I could go on forever listing songs, that's why I love Fred and Lucy so much!) The same insane emotions that keep me from wanting to go back to high school have made the music I loved during those years the unattainable gold standard against which I judge all other music.
posted by virge at
6:01 PM
3 Comments:
that is a solid point. HS & jrHigh was the pinnacle of my music experience. all other music is just a footnote to those years.
I do love my HS music, however, I still find my college year's Good Vibrations and Leaving on a Jet Plane among the songs that can best stop me in my tracks no matter what I am doing. Could it be because I never left my first love behind?
I hope you never leave him behind :)
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